A Relative Life


We have been given a life in this relative truth and we have all kinds of questions about it. We say to ourselves, “Is this the way to live? What do I do? What kind of work should I have? Does anybody love me? Do I love anybody? What about my relationships? What about this and what about that?” This is what life here is. It’s all of the aspects of life—and it’s our life.

I’ve got to remind myself many times that it’s my life. Many times I see that other people want to tell me how to have my life. When I really look at it, I sometimes wonder if I am being arrogant to want to run my own life. Is it better to have somebody else run my life? Is my life to be somehow or another run another way? I don’t know.

But I have noticed that when I think I am having miserable days, they occur when I’ve given away my right to run my own life.

Either I’ve given it away because I was too weak, or because in my strength I felt sorry for others and gave my life to them to run. Maybe I was feeling guilty. There are all kinds of relationships that are involved in this—blood relationships as well as relationships based upon a variety of associations. None of this, by the way, has anything to do with the absolute side of things. All of this is relative.

I have decided that

as long as I’m here, this is my life

and I’m in charge of my life.

One of the concepts that I know truly does not exist is this concept of karma and that everything about me is pre-determined. This is nonsense. If you agree with that, fine. If you don’t, it’s also fine. But I am in charge of my life and you are in charge of your lives.

Does that mean that because I have decided I am in charge of my life that all of a sudden I am automatically unkind or uncaring? Does it mean that I don’t love anybody around me? Does it mean that I don’t listen to anybody else or that I do whatever I want for my life without consideration of others? No! That is not the case.

As time passes when we are in charge of our own lives, everything around us benefits. I don’t know how that works either. It’s just the opposite of what I used to think.

I used to think that if I would do exactly what I was being asked by people around me that I would be pleasing everybody around me. That being the case, everybody around me would be as happy as possible and everything would be great. But it was just the opposite. The people around me were miserable because they could sense that I was miserable and that I was not in charge of my life.

Once you are in charge of your life, you become wiser

and you start to see that you can say and do certain things

that make other beings happy or pleased

and it doesn’t change the fundamental way

of how you look at things.

This is possible because with wisdom you know that not much really matters. However, it is wise and compassionate to pretend that it does matter if it helps another being. That is how you can be attached and not attached at the same time.



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